Healthier Together: Are you lonely?

A visit to the doctor can start with questions such as how you are feeling, how your diet is going, and whether you are getting enough activity or exercise.

But should ‘Are you lonely?’ also be a question? More doctors are saying yes, and the US Surgeon General branded loneliness an epidemic.

KIRO 7′s Ranji Sinha spoke to Dr. Sebastian Tong, Assistant Professor of Family Medicine at UW School of Medicine, about the issue and why more people are feeling alone in our latest Healthier Together report.

Dr. Tong admits that he did not expect to diagnose loneliness in people until it kept popping up.

“Even in my medical training, I did see how a lot of things outside the world of medicine really affected healthcare,” Dr. Tong said.

On a recent sunny day, a large group of pickleball players took to the courts near Seattle’s Green Lake Park’s main entry. On any given day, it’s hard to envision anyone in the group being lonely; the sport breeds camaraderie, competition, and connection.

Despite that, doctors are saying someone in the group was or maybe still is feeling lonely, and statistics and studies from the US Surgeon General do appear to bear the concern.

That issue of ‘loneliness’ as a medical concern is now making its way to medical offices, including Dr. Tong.

“Even when we did the blocks in med school, we were learning about mental health; it was really focused on the diagnosable things,” Dr. Tong said.

Dr. Tong says, ‘Are you lonely?’ is right there with heart rate, vaccination checks, and more.

He says chronic conditions can be exacerbated by being alone.

“Being lonely is as bad as smoking cigarettes and cuts short one’s life,” Dr. Tong said.

The US Surgeon General agrees with Dr. Tong, saying social isolation can increase the risk of premature death, heart disease, and stroke and can lead to anxiety and depression.

According to a report from the Surgeon General, the number of close friendships has declined for decades.

Among people not reporting loneliness, nearly 90% have three or more confidants.

Almost half of Americans (49%) in 2021 reported having three or fewer close friends.

And only about a quarter (27%) reported the same in 1990.

Social connection continued to decline during the COVID-19 pandemic.

And one study found a 16% decrease in network size from June 2019 to June 2020.

While the pandemic shutdowns isolated people, social media was a fundamental driver of loneliness before COVID.

Dr. Tong believes social media has isolated people physically, even though physical contact with others is critical to one’s health.

“Even before the pandemic, we had social media coming in and really pulling people apart. The initial idea of social media was to connect people and people are just seeing the most glamorous parts of other people’s lives and they’re sitting at home feeling lonely and isolated from that,” Dr. Tong said.

Loneliness also used to be linked to older people, but social media has spread the phenomenon.

“What’s emerging now is the young adults and adolescents that feel lonely now … there is something to be said of stepping outside of the box of your phone and your social media and really going out and meeting people in person,” Dr. Tong said.

Dr. Tong says people need to make a plan to reengage with people, whether it’s as simple as reigniting a hobby, volunteering, sports —like pickleball—or even social meetups.

He also says one critical piece is building courage and taking the risk to talk to people and break out of the loneliness.

Dr. Tong says he will continue to ask patients, ‘Are you lonely?’ but admits that treating loneliness is a tough task socially and medically.

“People come to the doctor’s office looking for a pill. Unfortunately, there’s no pill to solve loneliness,” Dr. Tong said.

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